Recently for one of my graduate school essays, I was asked to state my health fitness philosophy and career objectives. I thought I'd share some of my thoughts here.
Prior to thoughts on any specific careers, I have always been driven by my desire to help people. As a child, I wanted to become a doctor. I was fascinated by the human body and thought I could help people by treating and healing their illnesses. In high school, I volunteered as a "candy striper" at a local hospital and enjoyed being in a medical atmosphere. Becoming a physician was my goal until college, when I was stymied by the science and math courses required for pre-med majors. During my college years, I was a flute teacher, returning to my hometown each weekend to teach area children. However I considered that a "college job" and not a future career path then. After college, I turned to medical social work which nicely married my interests in medicine with my desire to help people. After attending and graduating from an innovative program at Massachusetts General Hospital, devoted exclusively to medical social work and the first of its kind in New England, I worked for several years in an acute care hospital as well as a rehab hospital. My caseload consisted of geriatric cardiac and stroke patients as well as their families. Sometimes my patients returned home, many times they did not. Finding an appropriate extended care facility for those who could not return home was my responsibility, whether that was a chronic care facility or a nursing home. Ultimately I found this work very difficult emotionally and returned to teaching flute and had a long, happy, successful career as a music educator, performer and public speaker.
Twenty five years later, I still teach flute, however my primary career is working as a personal trainer, bootcamp and group fitness instructor at a health club in downtown San Francisco. The majority of my clients and class members are women of all ages and fitness levels. Again my fitness career combines my interests in the human body and helping people quite well.
I feel blessed to have worked in several different industries. However different the industries, my career objectives have remained the same: what can I contribute to peoples' lives? My interests in the human body, how people learn, understanding how they think, what they feel and how all of that translates into behavior are well served by my work in health and fitness.
As a flute teacher working with children and as a personal trainer and group fitness instructor working with adults, I have always been enthralled with observing how the mind and body are entwined and the affect one has on the other. Early in my flute teaching, I discovered the field of sports psychology and read books by Don Greene, George Leonard and Terry Orlick to help my flute students successfully deal with performance anxiety. I explored many martial arts both physically by training and by reading ideas and philosophies concerning martial arts. I delved into Martin Seligman's work on applied positive psychology, authentic happiness and learned optimism. I read many books discussing the ideas of brain plasticity and psycho-neuro-immunology such as the works of Jeffrey Schwartz, Sharon Begley and Sandra and Matthew Blakeslee. These books support what I learned from the sports psychology material as well as the bodywork I personally have undergone such as many years of taking Alexander Technique lessons and my martial arts training in Tai Chi and Kempo Karate. After all of this reading and particularly the reading I did on brain plasticity, I realized that I wanted a more formal education. However, that education needed to be very broad in nature in order to satisfy all of my varied interests. I considered many schools before finding American University's program in Health Promotion Management. I feel this program with its multi-disciplinary scope as well as the specific knowledge base best suit my interests. After completing this education, I intend to step onto a bigger stage and move from the micro of working with people one-on-one to the macro of influencing health care policy and health care delivery.
My health fitness philosophy arose from teaching flute lessons. My motto to flute students is "Yes, you can", which I said in order to counter their common refrain of "I can't". Throughout the years of teaching, I could easily ascertain a student's level of faith and confidence in themselves by whether or not they used those words. Watching people learn (flute students and training clients) has been a huge gift, because I am privileged to see someone's beliefs and thought patterns in action. If someone responds "I can't" when encountering a learning challenge, the attitude behind the statement is often more correctly "I won't" or "I don't know how" accompanied by a tone of defeat. My philosophy "Yes, you can" has a tone of confident expectation of success. It reflects a "roll-up your sleeves, can-do attitude". It says things can change, life can be different. It also implies that from beliefs and attitudes flows behavior. The adage "whether you think you can or you think you can't, either way, you're right" is absolutely correct.
With my private clients at the health club as well as my class members, I work with both their minds and bodies. Training itself is obviously physical. However if I don't understand clients' motivations for wanting better health and fitness or identify their goals or even more importantly uncover their hidden agendas and fears, then I run the risk that their minds will sabotage their best efforts.
Clients may look to their trainers or their group fitness instructors to lead them, to be a role model for proper diet and exercise, health and wellness. I basically agree with their assessment: an effective leader is one who leads by example. Do he/she "walk the walk and talk the talk"? Core values are illustrated by actions. I look for consistency in behavior and in spoken words which helps me to trust someone. This is good advice in which to evaluate any relationship not just a leader! Some of my clients may view me as a leader although I prefer to have them think of me as a partner who's a little further down the road in terms of knowledge and experience. I am still human, still improving and not done with my journey towards better health and fitness (and happiness and compassion and kindness, etc). Certainly I am willing to share my knowledge with clients and share what worked for me and what didn't. However, my experience doesn't necessarily mean that my tools and strategies will work for them. I honor and respect their own individual paths. If people are inspired by the example of my life or find strength in the example of someone else's life, so be it. I am not a guru or fitness goddess seeking accolades or adulation. I want my clients to be fully empowered and ultimately independent of me. I work tirelessly to insure that they have the tools and knowledge to get what they want regardless of whether they train with me or not.
Working with my clients is very satisfying to me. What is most meaningful is observing how people stretch and grow in the process of reaching for their dreams. I know many people are keenly interested in achieving the end result. However the very act of envisioning something different for themselves begins the process of change. Embarking on a quest for better health and fitness can provoke seemingly unrelated changes. Clients may leave an unhappy relationship, an overwhelming job or may break ties with toxic family members. In learning how physically strong they are, they may uncover equally impressive emotional reserves, what Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, calls "emotional resilency". Having the inner confidence that you can weather life, that you can go through difficulties and still emerge intact is as the ad for the credit card company states "priceless". The process of discovering emotional strength through physical endeavor is common although almost miraculous in nature since you wouldn't suppose such a relationship exists. If I told a client that doing 12 push-ups when she can do none currently or that jumping rope when she can't climb stairs without huffing and puffing might lead her to other changes completely unrelated to fitting in her pair of skinny jeans, changes like being able to say "no" to her overbearing boss or demanding child, she would probably laugh in my face and mutter "crazy lady". However I know this to be true.
I know that monumental change can happen this way because I've done it. Six years ago, I lived in Boston and weighed well over 200 lbs. Unhappy in my marriage and discouraged with the politics at the music school where I taught, I was still recovering from physical injuries which were also emotionally devastating to me. My injuries forced me to stop exercising and to stop training in my beloved martial arts thus effectively ending my dream of attaining black belt and opening a dojo for women and girls. This was a significant loss for me. Additionally my elderly father was ailing. In short, I faced trials and tribulations no different than what many American women face on a regular basis. I was sliding down the slippery slope of depression quickly with no real end in sight. Rather than focusing on all the "bad" things in my life, I decided to focus on feeling better and starting working on the things I thought I could change: number one being my health. I hired a personal trainer and began the slow process of losing 80 lbs which I have successfully maintained. From that first step of hiring her, I began to totally remake myself. It was and is a long road filled with many challenges and adventures. Today I live in California, am divorced and instead of being a black belt teaching karate to women and girls, I am a fitness professional teaching adults about health and exercise. I'm applying to graduate school to further my studies. I owe a lot to all my personal trainers and healthcare professionals who was so instrumental in helping me. I also owe a lot to myself, that I cared enough about myself to say "enough, I want better".
My life's work continues to be helping people. My career objective is to promote wellness in all areas-physical, mental, emotional. I have many choices as to how I accomplish this. I have been fortunate enough to improve peoples' health and well-being one client at a time and one class at a time during my last 4 years in the fitness industry. I have also touched students' lives through my flute teaching. Now, to further my objectives, I believe that gaining a solid base of education and knowledge in the health care field is paramount. I think the program at American University will give me that and will afford me even greater career opportunities. From there, I intend to be open to different avenues to promote wellness in a larger setting and make the best choice for me given my specific skill set and interests.
In health,
Laura
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Happy-go-lucky
I saw the British indi movie "Happy-Go-Lucky" last weekend. It's a movie about whether your world view is half empty or half full. Poppy, the main character, is effervescent about life, happy, bubbly, vivacious and almost manic in her optimism. The movie shows how she handles situations where folks do not share her positiveness, including a particularly onerous driving instructor. The scenes where he's attempting to teach how to drive are hilarious as well as disturbing. I identify with Poppy's philosophy for the most part and applaud her ability to diffuse difficult people and support the underdogs. Check it out!
In Health,
Laura
In Health,
Laura
Halloween Horror and some alternatives
Prevention Magazine reports in its October, 2008 magazine that 3 handfuls of candy corn equals over 700 calories, the caloric equivalent of a Big Mac and small fries-OMG!
If you want to give out a more "wholesome" treat, Alison Sweeney, host of The Biggest Loser, has this tip: give out individual cans of Play-Doh.
I think this is a great idea although your trick-or-treaters might not think so. If you must give out sweets, Junior Mints has less sugar per serving than many other treats.
In Health,
Laura
If you want to give out a more "wholesome" treat, Alison Sweeney, host of The Biggest Loser, has this tip: give out individual cans of Play-Doh.
I think this is a great idea although your trick-or-treaters might not think so. If you must give out sweets, Junior Mints has less sugar per serving than many other treats.
In Health,
Laura
Friday, October 10, 2008
Ode to a pretty blonde girl
Once upon a time, there was a girl who looked like a younger, prettier version of Suzanne Somers. Someone (that would be me) told her she looked like Suzanne Somers but I don't think she liked that. And yes, I did include the younger, prettier part. Otherwise I would have really insulted her.
Anyway, this girl grew up with a burning desire in her heart to be a wonderful musician. She had many trials and tribulations. Her adored high school teacher moved away during her last year of school, she struggled mightily with a proficiency test in order to graduate from Conservatory.
Many auditions didn't go her way. Her beloved instrument always seemed on the fritz, needing regular repairs. Sometimes she had to make emergency dashes to substitute repair people, not knowing whether they'd fix the problem or make it worse. Her musical collaborators were often the source of much frustration and many tears.
She also had many honors and triumphs. She won several competitions as a soloist and chamber musician. She won an international solo competition where the prize was a new instrument! She's played in Carnegie Hall several times, played in Europe, played in summer festivals in the western United States. One of her former teachers, an international star, invited her to concertize with her, a high honor indeed. The same musical collaborators who were a source of frustration and tears were often the source of profound
musical satisfaction and great achievement.
She married a great guy, has a wonderful family and many, many friends who care deeply about her. Oh and she looks hot in red!
She's continuing her journey, experiencing both disappointments and success. What I admire most about her (there are many things-did I mention the hot in red part?) is that she reaches for the stars. And when she can't reach any more, she stretches just a tiny bit further, willing herself forward with determination and focus. Sometimes she touches the stars, sometimes she doesn't. While I want her to get what she wants, what is really inspirational to me is that she keeps stretching. And growing. And learning. The outcome is less important than the act of becoming more of who she is.
I root her on through her journeys. Most of all, I want her to take her rightful place on stage. The stage of life, that is, where she trusts herself, her judgement, her perceptions, her wisdom. Where she allows the love and support of her family and friends who adore her so much to give her comfort and solace and help her celebrate her successes. Where she can relax into the beauty of spirit that she is.
The moral of the story?
There are many-choose the one you like.
Here's mine:
Don't tell a 25 year old they look like a 50 year old!
But do tell them they look hot in red.
:)
Laura
Anyway, this girl grew up with a burning desire in her heart to be a wonderful musician. She had many trials and tribulations. Her adored high school teacher moved away during her last year of school, she struggled mightily with a proficiency test in order to graduate from Conservatory.
Many auditions didn't go her way. Her beloved instrument always seemed on the fritz, needing regular repairs. Sometimes she had to make emergency dashes to substitute repair people, not knowing whether they'd fix the problem or make it worse. Her musical collaborators were often the source of much frustration and many tears.
She also had many honors and triumphs. She won several competitions as a soloist and chamber musician. She won an international solo competition where the prize was a new instrument! She's played in Carnegie Hall several times, played in Europe, played in summer festivals in the western United States. One of her former teachers, an international star, invited her to concertize with her, a high honor indeed. The same musical collaborators who were a source of frustration and tears were often the source of profound
musical satisfaction and great achievement.
She married a great guy, has a wonderful family and many, many friends who care deeply about her. Oh and she looks hot in red!
She's continuing her journey, experiencing both disappointments and success. What I admire most about her (there are many things-did I mention the hot in red part?) is that she reaches for the stars. And when she can't reach any more, she stretches just a tiny bit further, willing herself forward with determination and focus. Sometimes she touches the stars, sometimes she doesn't. While I want her to get what she wants, what is really inspirational to me is that she keeps stretching. And growing. And learning. The outcome is less important than the act of becoming more of who she is.
I root her on through her journeys. Most of all, I want her to take her rightful place on stage. The stage of life, that is, where she trusts herself, her judgement, her perceptions, her wisdom. Where she allows the love and support of her family and friends who adore her so much to give her comfort and solace and help her celebrate her successes. Where she can relax into the beauty of spirit that she is.
The moral of the story?
There are many-choose the one you like.
Here's mine:
Don't tell a 25 year old they look like a 50 year old!
But do tell them they look hot in red.
:)
Laura
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Goals-Unexpected Rewards
Pssst, friend, I have a deal for you.
What if I offered you a more intimate, a more loving, a more deeply connected relationship with your spouse which will last the length of your time together? A relationship where you both understand the other with more compassionate and sensitivity than ever before? Where, literally, you are able for once to walk a day in each other's shoes?
Interested?
What if, in return, I asked you for 6 weeks of your life where you will work like a dog, have several major melt-downs, terrific highs, terrible lows, be totally exhausted, completely exhilarated, that you'll travel thousands of miles in 1 day to present yourself under trying circumstances for professional reasons? That you'll reach for the stars and fail?
Twice.
What???!!! You want to counter-offer? You don't negotiate with me!!!
Sigh.
Such silly humans.
Ok, to sweeten the pot a little, in addition to the improvements in your relationship, I'll throw in that you'll feel more love and support from your family and friends than you could ever have imagined, that you'll become aware of previously hidden strengths like enormous courage, talent, focus and determination, that several new important professional colleagues will enter your life, that future fabulous professional opportunities await you as a result of your experiences, that you will come to be astounded and awed by the sheer audacity and bravado you displayed as a result of these 6 weeks, that the impact of what you have accomplished will be felt in your life for years to come.
Oh, I have to tell you that you will feel pretty crappy and lousy for a time. Kind of beaten up emotionally. And that you'll have to tell all your family and friends that you failed (well, didn't achieve that results you wanted-I don't believe in failure). That in telling your story to your loved ones, you'll experience the disappointment and hurt all over again. I know, sort of sucks.
But soon you'll start to feel better and begin to enjoy these unexpected rewards I'm offering you. Initially, though, it might feel like having the flu. Sorry, it's part of the deal. You know, truth in advertising and all.
Interested now?
What, STILL NEGOTIATING????!!!
Oh, you want to know why I'm making you this offer?
Because the rewards from goals can end up being quite different and sometimes sweeter than those results you said you wanted. Because the destination at the end of the journey can end up in a vastly different place (sometimes more beautiful) than where you said you wanted to go. Because I believe in you. Because you are an incredible spirit and I want you to truly see yourself. No, truly, truly see yourself. The way I see you. Because I want you to open your mind and see that impossible is nothing. Accept that you can find positive energy in any situation and often extraordinary kindness and generosity if you would open your door and welcome them in. Because I want you to understand that trite remark "the universe works in mysterious ways". Because I do work in mysterious ways. Because I love you. And want you to own your power.
Deal or no deal?
No using any lifelines-oh my gosh!
Decide.
Oh, by the way, that lady in Texas who wants to lose 30lbs?
Tell her I have a little adventure in store for her too if she's interested.
Your friend,
The universe
PS: This is what goals are for: the unexpected rewards of the journey, not the results.
Love you much.
What if I offered you a more intimate, a more loving, a more deeply connected relationship with your spouse which will last the length of your time together? A relationship where you both understand the other with more compassionate and sensitivity than ever before? Where, literally, you are able for once to walk a day in each other's shoes?
Interested?
What if, in return, I asked you for 6 weeks of your life where you will work like a dog, have several major melt-downs, terrific highs, terrible lows, be totally exhausted, completely exhilarated, that you'll travel thousands of miles in 1 day to present yourself under trying circumstances for professional reasons? That you'll reach for the stars and fail?
Twice.
What???!!! You want to counter-offer? You don't negotiate with me!!!
Sigh.
Such silly humans.
Ok, to sweeten the pot a little, in addition to the improvements in your relationship, I'll throw in that you'll feel more love and support from your family and friends than you could ever have imagined, that you'll become aware of previously hidden strengths like enormous courage, talent, focus and determination, that several new important professional colleagues will enter your life, that future fabulous professional opportunities await you as a result of your experiences, that you will come to be astounded and awed by the sheer audacity and bravado you displayed as a result of these 6 weeks, that the impact of what you have accomplished will be felt in your life for years to come.
Oh, I have to tell you that you will feel pretty crappy and lousy for a time. Kind of beaten up emotionally. And that you'll have to tell all your family and friends that you failed (well, didn't achieve that results you wanted-I don't believe in failure). That in telling your story to your loved ones, you'll experience the disappointment and hurt all over again. I know, sort of sucks.
But soon you'll start to feel better and begin to enjoy these unexpected rewards I'm offering you. Initially, though, it might feel like having the flu. Sorry, it's part of the deal. You know, truth in advertising and all.
Interested now?
What, STILL NEGOTIATING????!!!
Oh, you want to know why I'm making you this offer?
Because the rewards from goals can end up being quite different and sometimes sweeter than those results you said you wanted. Because the destination at the end of the journey can end up in a vastly different place (sometimes more beautiful) than where you said you wanted to go. Because I believe in you. Because you are an incredible spirit and I want you to truly see yourself. No, truly, truly see yourself. The way I see you. Because I want you to open your mind and see that impossible is nothing. Accept that you can find positive energy in any situation and often extraordinary kindness and generosity if you would open your door and welcome them in. Because I want you to understand that trite remark "the universe works in mysterious ways". Because I do work in mysterious ways. Because I love you. And want you to own your power.
Deal or no deal?
No using any lifelines-oh my gosh!
Decide.
Oh, by the way, that lady in Texas who wants to lose 30lbs?
Tell her I have a little adventure in store for her too if she's interested.
Your friend,
The universe
PS: This is what goals are for: the unexpected rewards of the journey, not the results.
Love you much.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Burn after Reading-a hoot!
Ok, time for another movie recommendation. I recently saw the movie "Burn after Reading"-what a hoot! The storyline and characters are a bit ridiculous in my opinion although I loved Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt plays "Chad" a personal trainer at a DC gym. Chad gets
drawn into the drama (with disastrous results) by one of his colleagues, Frances McDormand. Chad is a caricature for some of the silliest traits found in personal trainers. I thought Chad was the best part of the movie although John Malkovich is great too. If you've seen previous Coen brothers' movies, then you know their comedy can be somewhat "black". "Burn after Reading"
is in the same vein. Enjoy!
Laura
drawn into the drama (with disastrous results) by one of his colleagues, Frances McDormand. Chad is a caricature for some of the silliest traits found in personal trainers. I thought Chad was the best part of the movie although John Malkovich is great too. If you've seen previous Coen brothers' movies, then you know their comedy can be somewhat "black". "Burn after Reading"
is in the same vein. Enjoy!
Laura
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Shooting yourself in the foot-Part 3 Goals
Goals, like many other strategies, can be positive or negative. How goals affect your life depends on your attitudes towards your goals. Generally goals can positively motivate us and help us move forward towards attaining a desired result. Setting goals can often push us out of our ruts,
expanding our world, thrusting us past previously limiting beliefs.
The negative part to goals is that focusing on only achieving our goals and neglecting to pay attention to the journey can leave us unsatisfied, angry and bitter
The good news is that's it's your choice. The bad news is that's it's your choice. What's it gonna be? How strong is your mind?
I have a musician friend who recently set some very lofty goals for herself. Within the space of 5 days, she intends to audition for a spot in a professional orchestra and then also compete to
win a solo competition. She's a fine musician, well trained, talented and smart. She's previously won important solo competitions and has successfully auditioned earlier in her career for orchestral jobs.
So what's the problem? Well the orchestra audition is in Europe and her solo competition is in the US. She has two days travel between the auditions. Both auditions require completely different material. To further complicate matters, she has to play two different instruments for the orchestra audition, one of which she does not play regularly. And at the time she made her decision to undertake her little adventure, she had 6 weeks to prepare. For this level of competition, 6 weeks is basically a blink of an eye.
So why then when she asked my opinion about what she should do and whether I thought she was capable of pulling this off, did I say ABSOLUTELY, GO FOR IT!
Here's why: the process of reaching for these goals causes her to stretch and grow in ways she wouldn't have without setting her goals.
Does that make sense? She is a different person (and musician) now having gone through this
period than she would have been had she not attempted her goals. When we talked, I told her that her mind, her beliefs and attitudes about the whole process would make or break the situation. Meaning that her mental state would either be her own best friend or her own worse enemy. And she had (has) the power to decide that.
She is presently, as I write this, finishing the first day of competition for the orchestral job.
From my perspective, I think it's fair to say that the last 6 weeks have been an
emotional roller-coaster for her. Regardless of the outcome, she has uncovered previously hidden strengths-enormous mental and emotional fortitude, fabulous strategizing and planning
abilities as well as demonstrating exquisite self-care under very trying circumstances.
I am immensely proud of her.
Does it matter whether she achieves her goals? Obviously she wants to be appointed to the orchestral job and win the solo competition. Well, even under the best of circumstances, the results are out of her hands since she is judged by others. She can only control her preparation
and to a certain degree how she plays at the moment in time during the actual auditions. She also controls her expectations. If her expectations are ONLY about the end result, she has shot herself in the foot in my opinion. Of course she wants to win. She's a very experienced musician, she doesn't need to learn how to take an audition. However winning is a small part of the equation. What she has asked of herself in getting to the auditions is much more important. There can be many other important expectations (or more properly wants/desires) than simply winning the audition.
What I want for her is to feel proud of herself and satisfied with how she plays. Since she can't control the outcome of either scenario, the most she can hope for is to play to the best of her ability.
To translate my friend's situation for health and fitness: have goals and have strategies for achieving your goals. Understand that the journey towards your goals is as important, if not more important than reaching the final destination. Every step towards better well-being is a step away from sickness. Every step taken to improve your health and fitness is a step in the right direction. If your goal is a 60lb weight loss, is a failure if you lose 52lbs?
Be aware of who accompanies you along your path. Hopefully you will have companions who support and applaud your steps forward. You want a strong support team. If you don't have those people in your life, rethink who you are allowing in and why. Important goals demand a enormous amount from you-you must have a great team.
Understand too that your mind will either be a wonderful support or a terrible foe. You can choose to work with yourself wisely or shoot yourself in the foot at every turn.
I love goals, helping people set goals and then giving them strategies on achieving goals as well as setting and achieving my own goals. I love the journey even more because that's what's right here, right now. And now is where I learn the most about me. What am I made of? Do I have anything left in the tank? At the end of the day did I treat myself with as much love and care as I do my friends, clients and colleagues? What new part of me did I discover today?
Have fun with your goals and more importantly have a wonderful, wild, wacky adventure along the way. Like my friend. Good job, sweetie.
In Health,
Laura
expanding our world, thrusting us past previously limiting beliefs.
The negative part to goals is that focusing on only achieving our goals and neglecting to pay attention to the journey can leave us unsatisfied, angry and bitter
The good news is that's it's your choice. The bad news is that's it's your choice. What's it gonna be? How strong is your mind?
I have a musician friend who recently set some very lofty goals for herself. Within the space of 5 days, she intends to audition for a spot in a professional orchestra and then also compete to
win a solo competition. She's a fine musician, well trained, talented and smart. She's previously won important solo competitions and has successfully auditioned earlier in her career for orchestral jobs.
So what's the problem? Well the orchestra audition is in Europe and her solo competition is in the US. She has two days travel between the auditions. Both auditions require completely different material. To further complicate matters, she has to play two different instruments for the orchestra audition, one of which she does not play regularly. And at the time she made her decision to undertake her little adventure, she had 6 weeks to prepare. For this level of competition, 6 weeks is basically a blink of an eye.
So why then when she asked my opinion about what she should do and whether I thought she was capable of pulling this off, did I say ABSOLUTELY, GO FOR IT!
Here's why: the process of reaching for these goals causes her to stretch and grow in ways she wouldn't have without setting her goals.
Does that make sense? She is a different person (and musician) now having gone through this
period than she would have been had she not attempted her goals. When we talked, I told her that her mind, her beliefs and attitudes about the whole process would make or break the situation. Meaning that her mental state would either be her own best friend or her own worse enemy. And she had (has) the power to decide that.
She is presently, as I write this, finishing the first day of competition for the orchestral job.
From my perspective, I think it's fair to say that the last 6 weeks have been an
emotional roller-coaster for her. Regardless of the outcome, she has uncovered previously hidden strengths-enormous mental and emotional fortitude, fabulous strategizing and planning
abilities as well as demonstrating exquisite self-care under very trying circumstances.
I am immensely proud of her.
Does it matter whether she achieves her goals? Obviously she wants to be appointed to the orchestral job and win the solo competition. Well, even under the best of circumstances, the results are out of her hands since she is judged by others. She can only control her preparation
and to a certain degree how she plays at the moment in time during the actual auditions. She also controls her expectations. If her expectations are ONLY about the end result, she has shot herself in the foot in my opinion. Of course she wants to win. She's a very experienced musician, she doesn't need to learn how to take an audition. However winning is a small part of the equation. What she has asked of herself in getting to the auditions is much more important. There can be many other important expectations (or more properly wants/desires) than simply winning the audition.
What I want for her is to feel proud of herself and satisfied with how she plays. Since she can't control the outcome of either scenario, the most she can hope for is to play to the best of her ability.
To translate my friend's situation for health and fitness: have goals and have strategies for achieving your goals. Understand that the journey towards your goals is as important, if not more important than reaching the final destination. Every step towards better well-being is a step away from sickness. Every step taken to improve your health and fitness is a step in the right direction. If your goal is a 60lb weight loss, is a failure if you lose 52lbs?
Be aware of who accompanies you along your path. Hopefully you will have companions who support and applaud your steps forward. You want a strong support team. If you don't have those people in your life, rethink who you are allowing in and why. Important goals demand a enormous amount from you-you must have a great team.
Understand too that your mind will either be a wonderful support or a terrible foe. You can choose to work with yourself wisely or shoot yourself in the foot at every turn.
I love goals, helping people set goals and then giving them strategies on achieving goals as well as setting and achieving my own goals. I love the journey even more because that's what's right here, right now. And now is where I learn the most about me. What am I made of? Do I have anything left in the tank? At the end of the day did I treat myself with as much love and care as I do my friends, clients and colleagues? What new part of me did I discover today?
Have fun with your goals and more importantly have a wonderful, wild, wacky adventure along the way. Like my friend. Good job, sweetie.
In Health,
Laura
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