Shooting yourself in the foot-Part 3 Goals

Goals, like many other strategies, can be positive or negative. How goals affect your life depends on your attitudes towards your goals. Generally goals can positively motivate us and help us move forward towards attaining a desired result. Setting goals can often push us out of our ruts,
expanding our world, thrusting us past previously limiting beliefs.

The negative part to goals is that focusing on only achieving our goals and neglecting to pay attention to the journey can leave us unsatisfied, angry and bitter

The good news is that's it's your choice. The bad news is that's it's your choice. What's it gonna be? How strong is your mind?

I have a musician friend who recently set some very lofty goals for herself. Within the space of 5 days, she intends to audition for a spot in a professional orchestra and then also compete to
win a solo competition. She's a fine musician, well trained, talented and smart. She's previously won important solo competitions and has successfully auditioned earlier in her career for orchestral jobs.

So what's the problem? Well the orchestra audition is in Europe and her solo competition is in the US. She has two days travel between the auditions. Both auditions require completely different material. To further complicate matters, she has to play two different instruments for the orchestra audition, one of which she does not play regularly. And at the time she made her decision to undertake her little adventure, she had 6 weeks to prepare. For this level of competition, 6 weeks is basically a blink of an eye.

So why then when she asked my opinion about what she should do and whether I thought she was capable of pulling this off, did I say ABSOLUTELY, GO FOR IT!

Here's why: the process of reaching for these goals causes her to stretch and grow in ways she wouldn't have without setting her goals.

Does that make sense? She is a different person (and musician) now having gone through this
period than she would have been had she not attempted her goals. When we talked, I told her that her mind, her beliefs and attitudes about the whole process would make or break the situation. Meaning that her mental state would either be her own best friend or her own worse enemy. And she had (has) the power to decide that.

She is presently, as I write this, finishing the first day of competition for the orchestral job.
From my perspective, I think it's fair to say that the last 6 weeks have been an
emotional roller-coaster for her. Regardless of the outcome, she has uncovered previously hidden strengths-enormous mental and emotional fortitude, fabulous strategizing and planning
abilities as well as demonstrating exquisite self-care under very trying circumstances.
I am immensely proud of her.

Does it matter whether she achieves her goals? Obviously she wants to be appointed to the orchestral job and win the solo competition. Well, even under the best of circumstances, the results are out of her hands since she is judged by others. She can only control her preparation
and to a certain degree how she plays at the moment in time during the actual auditions. She also controls her expectations. If her expectations are ONLY about the end result, she has shot herself in the foot in my opinion. Of course she wants to win. She's a very experienced musician, she doesn't need to learn how to take an audition. However winning is a small part of the equation. What she has asked of herself in getting to the auditions is much more important. There can be many other important expectations (or more properly wants/desires) than simply winning the audition.

What I want for her is to feel proud of herself and satisfied with how she plays. Since she can't control the outcome of either scenario, the most she can hope for is to play to the best of her ability.

To translate my friend's situation for health and fitness: have goals and have strategies for achieving your goals. Understand that the journey towards your goals is as important, if not more important than reaching the final destination. Every step towards better well-being is a step away from sickness. Every step taken to improve your health and fitness is a step in the right direction. If your goal is a 60lb weight loss, is a failure if you lose 52lbs?

Be aware of who accompanies you along your path. Hopefully you will have companions who support and applaud your steps forward. You want a strong support team. If you don't have those people in your life, rethink who you are allowing in and why. Important goals demand a enormous amount from you-you must have a great team.

Understand too that your mind will either be a wonderful support or a terrible foe. You can choose to work with yourself wisely or shoot yourself in the foot at every turn.

I love goals, helping people set goals and then giving them strategies on achieving goals as well as setting and achieving my own goals. I love the journey even more because that's what's right here, right now. And now is where I learn the most about me. What am I made of? Do I have anything left in the tank? At the end of the day did I treat myself with as much love and care as I do my friends, clients and colleagues? What new part of me did I discover today?

Have fun with your goals and more importantly have a wonderful, wild, wacky adventure along the way. Like my friend. Good job, sweetie.

In Health,

Laura