Can we ever be satisfied?

Do you feel satisfied with your life? Do you want what you have?

Walk into any bookstore in the country and look in the self-improvement/self-development section. You will see rows and rows and rows of books on how to improve any aspect of your life. Do you see books on happily accepting the peace and satisfaction in your life? Me neither. In our culture, being satisfied with your life is a foreign concept. The idea sounds subversive, alien, heretical. If you're satisfied, won't you be a big, apathetic blob, laying on the couch watching TV 24 hours a day? How will anything get done if you're satisfied?

Why is it that we always want more? Why aren't we satisfied with what we've got? If you don't want what you've got, what do you have?

Well, for starters, when you don't want what you've got, you have huge internal conflict and resistance. Because desire is battling reality and we all know who will win in that fight. Hint: it's not desire.

As human beings, we are inherently greedy and are encouraged by our culture to be so although we don't use that word. We deserve the sportscar, the expensive European vacation, the fancy country club membership, the fabulous dinner at the most chic restaurant. We deserve the plastic surgery so we feel better about ourselves, can wear a smaller size or have a bigger bustline and attract a man. We work hard and by gum, we'll play hard! And even though we can't take our toys with us when we go, if we can pass them on to our children or have more than the neighbors, than it's all been worth it.

Maybe you don't feel like that, but I'm sure you know lots of people who do. There's nothing inherently wrong with desires or having any of those things. However it's rare that people are completely satisfied for very long. Usually there's a post euphoric glow of about a week and then it's on to achieving the next desire. We may think we're evolved but our instincts still strongly influence our behavior.

And many of us live in this very strange fantasy world where we think that if we achieve our heart's desire, life will be perfect and we'll be supremely contented forever and ever. Well, contented till we find out that our heart's desire has some internal flaws. Oops. Time to try again. The next heart's desire WILL satisfy us and WILL be perfect.

What about a balance between wanting more and being satisfied with what you've got and where you're at? You can substitute the word happy for satisfied if that works better for you.

Can you want more and be satisfied at the same time? Can you want more and still be appreciative of where you find yourself in life? Can you want what you have?

For me, being an East Coast Type A, a descendant of overachieving, hale and hardy Maine Yankees, satisfaction was an intellectual idea at best until mid-life. Satisfaction was a strange fleeting feeling in the beginning. I hardly knew what it was when it first appeared. Through attention and appreciation, satisfaction became and continues to be a more frequent visitor to my life. I am still an ardent goal-setter and planner and I love dreaming B-I-G dreams. Today I balance wanting more with also being at peace with where I'm at. It's a delicate balance, indeed, to me well worth the effort and the occasional splat on the floor.

In health, fairly satisfied much of the time and still a Type A (it's in the genes),

Laura